Before, as much as I enjoyed weekends for me time and passion time, I also enjoy the idea of waking up to Monday. Yes! However, after a couple of months, that enjoyment falters off and now, I wish I am stuck with weekends -- with pay. Haha!

Depending if you are an introvert of an extrovert, here are some ways on how we can maximize our weekends.

1. Watch Movies -- at Home

2. Work on your personal hobby

3. Clean your closet

4. Travel alone or with friends and family

These are just some of the many things you can do to make the most out of your weekend! Do you have other things in mind?

It's already September.

I am an above minimum wage earner.

It's September 17 today and days from now, my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 3rd (!!!!) Anniversary. Yes, you got that right.

We are now on our 3rd year and guess what? I feel like we're just starting now because of the oh-so-many things that happened this year.

Well I guess the term should be 'starting over' because we were really starting over again. Well at least for me.

Now, I am pissed and stressed and these got me thinking about my future with him.

Before, as he said, he really has plans for us, for the future, for his career, his family, for God, and so on and so forth. But what I realized now was that those were just merely his alter ego. I mean, those are the good things he just wants for himself but never really do anything to get to those plans of his.

Because I love him, after a couple of months and years together, I know that there's something wrong in him, but still, I dont think about it so much because he ''said'' he is a good man, a son of God, who would do everything for the Lord. And of course, I believe in him even if I dont see that much clearly during those years.


Now, last February, I feel like there's something really wrong with this man. So I did everything just to know if he has another email. I feel like there's really something wrong. And alas! I found one.

And his ultra mega secret, quote and quote, long time secret was revealed: he is still talking shit with his ex. (Oh!  By the way, this is just one of his lies. He said that this girl is his ex, but then after confirming with the girl, they weren't really a thing about them.) 

I just dont know how a guy would be in a relationship with someone he doesnt love? Like, hey! You should've dumped me or whatever before you cheated on me.

--

I just want to express my thoughts right now. I know I should be writing to earn now. But then again, I just want these all out.

Forgive me, Lord God. But I just cant't talk good right now.

Thank God, I am now into making sure that I do Miracle Morning (Life SAVERS) each and everyday. Will make a separate blog post for Miracle Morning for you guys. :)

September 8, 2016

SPIRITUAL FULLNESS IN CHRIST

Colossians 2:1-7

2 I want you to know how hard I am contending for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally. 2 My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 4 I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. 5 For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.

Yesterday, September 4, 2016, our topic at Victory MetroEast was Living in Christ under All or Nothing Series. We are currently on the Week 5 of the series but this is again my first time to attend which is, sad and happy at the same time.

Sad because I realized that I have not been going to church for the last 5 weeks and happy because God never fails to reach His hands to me and offer me a second chance.

Living in Christ

Colossians 3:5-11

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[a] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander,and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised,barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

There are many things running in my mind right now. 

Now that I am into Bullet Journal, I realized many things in my life. 

Good thing that if there's one person who will never leave me nor condemn me, it's Jesus Christ. I know and I feel that He never left. I just don't recognize His presence but I know deep within me that I am His. 

I am an above-minimum wage earner.

Sorry for ranting but his blog post is for me to acknowledge that I need to focus and avoid these distractions, these addictions.

So, here are some ways for me (and for you) to minimize being distracted so easily.

Sorry for ranting but his blog post is for me to acknowledge that I need to focus and avoid these distractions, these addictions.

So, here are some ways for me (and for you) to minimize being distracted so easily.

You're the one that never lets me sleep To my mind, down to my soul you touch my lips You're the one that I can't wait to see With you here by my side I'm in ecstasy I am all alone without you My days are dark without a glimpse of you But now that you came into my life I feel complete The flowers bloom, my morning shines And I can see Your love is like the sun That lights up my whole world I feel the warmth inside Your love is like the river That flows down through my veins I feel the chill inside Every time I hear our music play Reminds me of the things that we've been through In my mind I can't believe it's true But in my heart the reality is you I am all alone without you My days are dark without a glimpse of you But now that you came into my life I feel complete The flowers bloom, my morning shines And I can see Your love is like the sun That lights up my whole world I feel the warmth inside Your love is like the river That flows down through my veins I feel the chill inside Your Love Your Love Your Love Your Love Your love is like the river That flows down through my veins I feel the chill inside

How could I let him know if he doesn't want me in the first place? 

This Globe Father's Day advertisement/campaign just moved me to bucket of tears as I start asking myself:

- How does it feel to have a Father?
- Would he drive me too?
- Would he want to hear my stories?
- Will I love him as much as I love my Mother?
- Will I be a Papa's girl?

And the question goes on and on and on. I wish I had one. One good Father that would love my Mother wholeheartedly and would never leave us.

Dear you,

I want you to know that writing this letter did not come easily for me. There were parts of my life that I wished you were there, but then I finally understood that growing up without you was the best thing for me. Our paths have crossed and then they divided again, and to be truthful, I like it much better that way. This isn't a letter expressing my bitterness, but rather my thanks to you for not being there.

I want to be mad at you. I want to throw something at you and tell you that you ruined my life, but that simply isn't the case. Growing up without a biological father was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I want you to notice that I said biological. I had many people take your place. My mom, my grandparents, my siblings, my friends parents, the list goes on and on. You were simply not needed. Not having you in my life made me strong, powerful, careful, and happy. I was able to experience things differently than my friends who had a two parent home.

I was able to experience an overwhelming amount of love and support from all different angles. I was able to have my mom go on every school field trip and watch me learn. I built a relationship with my mother that is twice as strong as it would be if you were around.

For years, I watched my mom grow with me. At the time I didn't know it, but I now I see that she struggled. She wanted only the best for me and she did whatever she could so that I would have it. She understood that early mornings and long nights would be tough in the moment, but help me in the long run. My mother played both roles and I couldn't be more proud of her. I hope that one day I'm at least half the women that she was and twice the parent you could ever be.

Most importantly though, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud that I made it through high school and that I will be a college graduate come May and I did it without you. I'm proud of myself that I finally understand that my life is perfect without you in it, even though I spent years trying to figure out why you weren't apart of my life. I have family who supports me, a boyfriend who loves me, and friends who are always around. I'm proud that I was finally able to realize that I did not need a biological father because I had many different father figures in all of the people around me.

Blood does not always symbolize family and sometimes water is in fact thicker.

I wish nothing but good things for you, but my life is better because you were not there.

Sincerely,
Me

By Allison Nepa

Original post: Open Letters That Matters
:https://web.facebook.com/openlettersthatmatter/photos/a.367938023368723.1073741828.361101197385739/611499779012545/?type=3

Gusto ko magsulat. 

Matagal tagal na din simula noong huli akong nakapag sulat. Marami akong nasa isip ngayon. maraming tanong, maraming gustong sabihin, na para bang maraming maguguglong kulisap na lumilipad lipad sa paligid na kahit anong taboy mo'y bumabalik balik pa din.

Hanggang sa napagod na akong kakataboy.

Tinitingnan ko lang sila. Pero parang masakit sa mata. Masakit nga sa mata.

Hanggang sa naramdaman kong sumasakit ang puso ko. Parang habang pabalik balaik ang mga insekto, parang paulit ulit ding sinasaksak ang puso ko.

Bakit kaya ganon ano? Kung kelan ka pa nag mahal, kung kelan mo pa sinabi sa sarili mo na huli na to, seryoso na 'to. Siya na talaga. Ayoko na nang iba. Nakakapagod na.. Yun pa yung sasaktan ka ng paulit-ulit.

Oo, napatawad mo na. Pero paulit ulit pa din umaalingawngaw ang sakit ng kahapon, ang lahat ng ginawa niya. Pero hindi ka makabitiw. Maraming tanong. Maraming takot. Paano kung bitawan ko siya, at hindi na siya bumalik? Paano kung mawala siya sakin ng tuluyan? Mga tangang mga tanong.

Bakit ganoon. Kahit hindi ikaw ang may kasalanan, kahit siya ang may dahilan ng lahat ng sakit, ikaw pa din ang nag-iisip, natatakot na mawala siya, natatakot na mawala lahat. Baka dahil masyado ka nang nag effort? Baka dahil na i-set mo na talaga ang isip, puso, balunbalunan mo, na siya na. Siya na ang hihingi ng kamay mo sa altar, siya na ang magiging kasama mo gumawa ng isang masayang pamilya, akala mo siya na.

Pero paano mo malalamang takot din siya kung hindi mo ipaparamdam sa kanya ang pakiramdam na wala ka? Kung hindi mo ipaparamdam na kaya mong mawala siya.

Masakit. Mahirap. Yung parang hindi ka makahinga. Yung gusto mo nalang matulog palagi. Ayaw mo mag-isa.

Pero kailangan. Kailangan mong pahalagahan ang sarili mo. Kahit mahal na mahal mo.

SPIRITUAL
1. Attend Purple Book class
2. Devotion everyday


HEALTH AND BEAUTY
1. Know how to dress well

Dear Cutie-Pie,

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

• I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.
• I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
• I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
• I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
• I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
• I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
• I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

I have been always wanting to form habits ever since. I have been telling myself to do this, do that, work on this and that every single day. But --  to no avail. I am not serious with everything before and I just want quick change. 

Fortunately, I heard from Pastor Robert Hern of Victory Pioneer that our habits will eventually become our character. Would you want to be tagged as "The Greatest Late Comer Of All Time" because you were always late in just everything? Of course, not.

So here are some of my daily habits that I would like to do each part of the day for 7 Days.

MORNING RITUAL

1. Wake up at 6:15AM

I personally wake up at around 8 o'clock in the morning or sometimes, 7. Waking up at 6AM is really a burden to me since I am wide awake until the wee hours of the morning. But now, I need to set myself to wake up at 6:15AM instead.

And oh, fix your bed please.

2. No checking of social media sites

This is actually a pain in the ass. Just earlier this morning, I woke up at 6:30AM, checked facebook, scroll, scroll, and oops! It's already 7:30AM. Crap. Really disappointing. Depressing. But yes, it is still happening every single day.

Check SMS while on the way to the office instead.

3. Devotion and coffee

Have that habit of indulging in God's word early in the morning. Nothing can beat that feeling of satisfying your heart, soul, and mind with His Word early in the morning.

And yes, this can be done along with  a sip of your favorite coffee.

4. Take that glorious shower

We sometimes just want to, you know, take that additional 5 minutes for that 1 round of your favorite show on the television, but, see to it that after you've done your devotion and coffee or breakfast, take a bath already.
8.
5. Write your top 5 most important things to do

So simple, yet so effective. You're not just sticking on to it.

6. Revisit your goals

Each day, try to recheck, rewrite, and revisit your goals. This will help us know what are those top priorities that we have to do for the entire day to get us closer to our dreams.

7. Blog

Add even a paragraph or two to that blog post you've been writing on.

I can't believe that it is already April! I mean, it feels like me and Mother were just planning for our New Year celebration! Gosh, how time flies.. We really have to live life to the fullest, track our goals, and to always have that room for improvement.

It's already April 23 as of the moment and I only have seven days to get my goals for April before I say Hi to May!

1. Optimize my lifestyle blog - Okay, for now, I think I still can't mention it here since I want this blog to be private, solely for my goal tracking activities. But, I want my lifestyle blog to be optimized before April ends because there's nothing new there for the longest time. [CAREER] 

2. Boost Confidence - Honestly, I am not really good at dressing up. I feel very shy in experimenting and mixing up clothes for office or even for dates and whatnot. Now, I want to explore one outfit and try it to myself. :) [HEALTH AND BEAUTY]

3. Skin Care - Lately, I have been to many island hops resulting in sunburn. Now, I want to check on other soap for my skin. I have heard about Leivy Soap and Lotion and as per a reliable source, this can help me get back to my fair skin. [HEALTH AND BEAUTY]

Will also try an organic mix of ingredients for my skin.

4.  Braces Adjustment - Since I have been busy for the past weeks, I was not able to see my dentist.I Should visit her before the month ends. [HEALTH AND BEAUTY]

5. Devotion - There's nothing more important than this. [SPIRITUAL HEALTH]

6. Budget - Budget money until April 30 [MONEY MANAGEMENT]

7. Mama's Birthday Celebration - Will be having staycation in a hotel nearby and I am so happy! Make this birthday a blast! [RELATIONSHIPS]

After a couple of weeks, I understand that is is quite impossible for me t have a weekly goal tracker. But instead, what I am thinking right now is to make a Monthly Goal Tracker instead.

What's good in here is that I get to see the overview of what I want to accomplish in a month as a whole.

So, starting from now, this will be my Monthly Goal Tracker for 2016.

• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November
• December 

I never thought that I will be having my Victory Weekend this coming weekend. Ever since, I have prayed so hard to be on that list of attendees, to be able to know what will happen to me after that weekend, and to know the feeling of being set free of just about.. everything for God.

Honestly, I never thought that I can join in the Victory Weekend for April 9 and 10 because of some reasons. But God is just so good that He made a way for me to still sign up and get the materials and manuals. I burst into tears the moment I stepped out Victory's office. All I felt was happiness because finally, after years of waiting, here I am, embracing God fully.

And yes, I am ready to know Him even more and to cultivate our relationship even deeper.

Here are some things that I expect from my Victory Weekend:

1. New Me:

The old has gone, the new has come. Ever since, I always long for that 'new me'. Renewed mind and heart. Joyous heart. And that fire that will be planted in my heart for Jesus and the Gospel.

2. New Relationships:

First, with Jesus Christ, of course. I know I have a relationship with Him, but I want it to be renewed. I want it to be new.

Second, with new friends. I am positive I will gain new friends in this path I am taking. What's good is that these new friends are like me, wanting to seek God even more.

3. Changed Perspective in Life

(Updating)

Ever since, I have been a sucker for Do-it-Yourself Home Remedies that I can try anytime. I have been checking home remedies from time to time, amused by the results that I've been reading, and the availability of the ingredients to be used.

Yesterday, I decided to try some face masks and bought the things needed in the nearby grocery store. And today, I tried the Baking Soda, Lemon, and Coconut Oil Face Mask since I want a glowing and toned complexion.

How to Make Baking Soda, Lemon, and Coconut Oil Face Mask?

Hello Dear One,